Embedded for Lazy People

youtube debut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfEIiR1NesU

Blast from the past

let it snow snow and snow?

Childhood memories of snow bring nothing but delight. In fact I remember actually getting into a ski jump suit, wearing 3 pairs of socks, wearing my ski goggles and ski hat and my ski jacket, in preparation for an extreme play day in the snow. Of course back then I had a vast sense of imagination, where I could will myself to be on Everest, a stranded climber, or even a rescue team all by myself. Nowadays more snow doesn't equal more adventures, it doesn't even bring with it a guaranteed promise of fun. In fact, what I find myself doing on snowdays more and more, is looking for something to do. And so I'm going to compile of a to-do list, in case any of you are caught with nothing to do, this can be a sort of back-up plan so that we don't have a day where we end up not doing anything, stressed out of our minds not because we couldn't do anything, but because we couldn't think of anything to do.

1. Search "Kim Yuna" on Bing. I actually did a quick study just now on the top 3 most used search engines (I don't know if this is an accurate statement) --google, yahoo, and bing, and found bing to provide the most quality images, with the most images at a time making it the best one to go to. Although on Bing's search I came across a picture of Tyra Banks, from thaindian.com where she loses 30 pounds. I don't see how this in anyway related to kim yuna, and I'm pretty sure tyra is not thai or indian making this quite the strange find. Anyway, the search should at least take 1 -2 hours away from your time as you just surround yourself with this amazing chick. Study her every movement, her habits for your plan of eventual capture. That and since its snowing, ice skating is quite relevant.


Yea that's all i got for you really. I don't do much but sit around and watch time fly by. As a wise TV actor put it when asked what he was good at "I'm really good at passing time. I sit on a chair at 2pm and then BAM its 4 pm." So since I'm just as gifted as this guy, I really don't have to deal with not knowing what to do because I'm already a master at not caring about my day. But I did want to give a shoutout to Kim Yuna since she's great at skating, she just won a gold medal and she's got these sideburns from heaven.
So basically a word to the wise.
Don't look for things to do. Just stop caring. And find someone to look up on a search engine.
Until next time.

-The Postmaster

Utopias part one

Btw before I begin. Search "John Lim" on google images then go to page 7. inside joke to early readers

and now.......

To: a higher being

So everyday that I live, the same issue keeps bothering me over and over again. The world is not the way it should be, in fact what civilization has become at the pinnacle of its existence (now), kinda sucks. And so I'm gonna break it down day by day, ways to make a more perfect society than the one we have today. So the issue we have at hand today is beauty. Some have said "beauty" is a curse upon the world" and I would say i 50% agree with this statement and here's why.

So when I woke up today it was snowing yet again. Snow seems to not be a luxury, but just a fact of life in these parts and it made me feel 2 contrasting emotions. "Wow this snow is pretty, it makes the world look prettier" and "god dam I hate snow, snow sucks its useless, i hate wet socks and it gets nasty and i mean absolutely disgusting after 1-2 days. And then I realized, that's how I feel about all beautiful things that are just beautiful. Wow she's pretty but she annoys the shit out of me. or dam she's hot in that movie, but why is this a movie and not a moving wallpaper. Common examples being Jennifer's Body, or Megan Fox in Transformers, or Megan Fox in Transformers 2, or Megan Fox in real life for that matter.


And so i propose a completely new way of doing things. Complete separation of beauty for the sake of beauty, and the rest of the world, but of course in a way that the non "beautiful" people may enjoy beauty for what it is. Perhaps a division of the world where it snows all the time, where there are hot chicks walking around half naked all the time, for girls i guess half naked good looking men could be there too but in a 70:30 ratio, 70 being half naked hot chicks. Also all the bad movies with beautiful people would immediately be transferred over to that world, such as Jennifer's Body, Into the Blue, and the thousands of other beautiful trash we have, while we can have the all time greats. We could also take vacations to this world and enjoy all the beautiful things it has to offer us. Because as much as beauty pleases the aesthetic soul in all of us, if isolated completely, and if free to the world, it would do us much more good and the amount of time, energy and resources we put in it, could be used in something more practical such as flying cars, or vending machines serving EVERYTHING! In essence, we would control beauty, it wouldn't control us. Its sole purpose would be for our pleasure and enjoyment, rather than our entire dedicated lives.
Of course if you're beautiful and you're also a great person to be around, then of course we want you since but then again perhaps there could be a trade-off system, where you can trade all of your non-beauty related attributes to be even more attractive and transported to the viewing world but of course you wouldn't be able to return. But don't go, since if you do what we'll have left is just ugly ass things.

Win-win situation for everyone. Beautiful people love each other and can be surrounded by each other whereas the common layman could just be himself, without worldly pressure to look better. Imagine that. I'd say around half the world's problems could be solved with a simple separation of beauty for beauty's sake, and the rest of the world.

-The Postmaster

Don't Call It a Comeback; CoTTBMMTTRS Vol. 1

I understand we've lost a lot of our faithful readers by this point and to be honest, it's completely understandable. Let's evaluate the brief history of Allantoeidēs. We started with great optimism and enthusiasm. It was a fresh beginning, we were brimming with wit and humor, and enough inspiration to drop little nuggets of personality at a fantastic pace. From November 29th to December 19th, we managed to write 15 unique posts. Then winter break hit us. The busy holiday season consumed us and we went dormant for the whole break. We never got back on track after that putting out a paltry 9 posts since, half of them being John apologizing for not writing in a while and one lame very, very forgettable human trafficking joke that John botched completely. We could just let it go at this point and I doubt anyone would care but we're making one last ditch attempt to save it. I promise you more posts (4 per week guaranteed) and less John-joke-fails (no guarantees there). We will earn your trust back.

With that out of the way, let me give you the first installment of the Compilation of Things That Bother Me More Than They Really Should. Or CoTTBMMTTRS for short.

1. RAS syndrome. RAS stands for Redundant Acronym Syndrome and you've probably been guilty of at least one of the acronym errors that fall under RAS. How many times have you heard or said PIN number or ATM machine? Well, if you think about it, PIN number means Personal Identification Number number and ATM machine means Automated Teller Machine machine. These acronyms include the word you are adding after it; they got it under control. Assume that your listener knows the definitions of common acronyms such as PIN, ATM, or HIV and don't add the needless word. It's like saying, "I drive a SUV vehicle." I've made these errors at some point in my life I'm sure but it's definitely something I try to avoid now.
2. Unnecessary/excessive capitalization of internet acronyms. Capitalization of acronyms is usually the norm but the internet is the exception. Whenever anything is capitalized on the internet, that is the equivalent of yelling it. Honestly, I lose brain cells every time someone LOLs or ROTFLMAOMGs at me when I ask them what they had for breakfast. This is how such conversations go (screen names have been altered to ensure anonymity):
   

   seventwentytwo89: hey
   seventwentytwo89: did you im me earlier? I was taking a shower.
   SupASaIyIn4125: LOL
   SupASaIyIn4125: yeah
   seventwentytwo89: what's up?
   SupASaIyIn4125: nothin much
   SupASaIyIn4125: LOL
   SupASaIyIn4125: wanna go grab food later?
   SupASaIyIn4125: LOL
   seventwentytwo89 has gone offline.

   A simple lol will suffice most times. To be really honest about it, most times people should be using lqtm (laugh quietly to myself) if they want to be completely accurate because how often do you really "laugh out loud" (much less "roll on the floor laughing")? I don't expect that much out of you but just don't LOL at me every other line.
3. Doing dishes. And laundry. There is nothing funny or interesting to say about this because dishes and laundry are never funny nor interesting.
4. The whole concept of Superman. It's been addressed by greater minds than me in more eloquent words but it bothers me nonetheless. First, he's either overly strong to the point where it's not really intriguing (in presence of Earth sun but not in presence of Kryptonite) or overly weak to the point where it's not really intriguing (in presence of Kryptonite). So in short, he is rarely intriguing. This leads to half of his major battles happening like this: Supes starts out kicking villain's ass, villain reveals his stash of Kryptonite (surprise!), Supes gets so weakened that he is getting beat by mediocre punches and kicks, Supes/Lois Lane/other ally knocks the Kryptonite into a lead vase or far away enough from Superman for him to regain the upper hand and kick villain's ass for good. Secondly, this guy Clark Kent looks exactly like Superman minus the tights, glasses, and little hair twist and everyone is fooled? Never mind the fact that they're never seen together, they are both tall and ridiculously barrel-chested. I've tried to create an alter-ego with glasses and hair gel and it doesn't work even in a school full of Asians. Everyone who knows Clark Kent and has seen Superman should be able to make that connection barring legal blindness.
5. Plot holes in Heroes. Like the Irish girl that Peter Petrelli was boning in Season 2. That got stuck in the future and Peter doesn't really seem to remember/care. I'm precipitously [great word] close to cutting my losses and dropping the show from the list of things I care about for a show that deserves it like The Wire or shows I've heard good things about like Californication, Dollhouse, and How I Met Your Mother.

Until the next time...

April Fool's Day

Something to think about....

As I was planning nefarious schemes today to enact on people, it became clear to me the amount of commitment, the amount of planning required was enormous. It was almost unbearable and the satisfaction you would get of lying to someone's face and getting away with it, was drained by the constant need of awareness to exactly what your next move was.

Since when did april fool's day get so complicated? As a child a simple fart on you, whoopee cushion you, gunk in the hair; All these things could have sufficed as a prank but now that we've grown everything is so psychological. How can we fuck with your head the most in this day and make your believe it is our goal more than how can we humiliate you in a small funny way. What does that say about us as a rising generation of adults? 

Just some food for thought.