H for hats

Had ottos today.
Onward to hats and how to deal with that crazy hat hair. Let me warn you, before I begin this talk, that this is not going to miraculously preserve your hairdo unless you wear helmets as a fashion statement. Then I can suggest that you investigate further in a Hairmet. I'm not sure if this is a fictitious creation or a real one but it does sound promising for frequent bikers or avid helmet wearers.
That's me using this entry as an excuse to be cute. Hello friends!

See the below link for what a hairmet is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0rGoWtF-hs


The only way to truly beat hats, is to abstain from it. As you see in the picture to the right, if you put that apparatus on your head, you would not get hat hair because of the large amounts of the room on the side as well as the abstinence that you are practicing. (I just thought that dude really looked funny and that's why the pictures there as well as the fact that abstinence related to hats is just a funny analogy. ). EDIT Dam the image got owned as you can see so you can't laugh with me but trust me it was funny. So here's a funny button to keep you laughing. EDIT END You might be thinking, Dam John, and I thought you offered a solution! But obviously as hat wearers, we are not interested in abstinence at all. We want to wear our hats and not be afraid that once we take them off, the person left standing is wolverine. Except you're not Hugh Jackman. You're whoever you are and you look silly. And so I offer a solution, a compromise if you will, to settle your score with the beast on top.

A Chinese wise man once told me, that if the enemy is unbeatable, join him. And so I apply that concept to hair. Hat hair is an unbeatable enemy so join it. Train it, mold it and make it become one with you. He also told me that he himself didn't have much hair left so hat hair wasn't his specialty, but his advice was well taken. I developed a system where I always have hat hair, and so it appears as if I never have hat hair.

A little something about me, I shower in the mornings and because its so god dam cold in New York, I put on my hat right after I dry it. I mean obviously I'm not just naked in the shower with a fur hat on thinking Dam now I'm warm and ready to go, but the time discrepancy between the time i put on my hat and the time I shower is not great. However, one time I put my hat on in such a way that my hairs stuck onto my skull completely and so when I took it off, it just looked like a bowl cut and guess what, I love bowl cuts. Thats the secret guys. Fashion your hat hair so that it looks like some sort of haircut and stick with it. Remember that angle you put on your hat, remember how your hair felt and utilize it. You won't need to get a hair cut in months. I'm actually currently on my third month of not cutting hair and it's been great. Shit when I tried to tackle this issue I actually didn't think of what an impossible task it was and how hard it was to be funny with it. I just wanted to spell out Thy Loin with the first letter of my subjects. So I leave you with this last image.





Don't be that guy. Even using 4 chopsticks to depict wolverine's 3 claws won't help. Again all images are not mine except for my face and so I give credit where it's due. BTW SUN YUE 4 fouls 4 points in 5 minutes. WHAT A BEAST

H for Hats

Hey guys sorry for the delay, I had a massive stomach attack which was the result of bad chinese korean food and threw up the entire contents of the meal last night. It brought nasty to a new level as I saw noodles and whole bakchoys come out of my mouth. Talk about eating without chewing, I must've completely mastered that technique. Because all of the food was undigested and unchewed, it could've almost looked like some sort of stew however, because it smelled like throw up and came out of my mouth, I was unable to make that kind of mistake. I did think however; that if this does happen to me again I should put it in some sort of tupperware and trick someone into eating my literal "creation".

Anyways thats a little teaser for later today when i'll talk about both hats and places to go for christmas. Until then!

T. for Shirts

Shit I got a philosophy test on Aristotle tomorrow but had Aristotle been alive he would've addressed this t-shirt issue as well. So I'm going to quickly explore the cold weather hot T-shirt idea before I go back on my way to studying.
Now I was talking to this guy and he told me about something that happened to him. So apparently a shirt that he bought online had just arrived and when he wore it, it was tight both in size and in style. That day happened to be the coldest day of the week. Maybe it was around 32-36 degrees, it doesn't really matter just know that it was really cold, but even so, he couldn't contain his excitement and took off his jacket for good.
Alright I'm getting tired of writing in the third person, for those who haven't figured out already the guy I was talking to was me.
So I had a meeting with one of my small group kids and we had it outside. For several hours I was shivering my ass off as I talked to him and that just sucked. That night I had the biggest fever ever and was rolling around in my bed and cocooning myself in a blanket to generate heat. A few days later I realized I aggravated my cold to the point where I had interstitial pneumonia.
Long story short, I wore a T-shirt in the cold weather to the point of death. Dumb huh?

Fuck the question about what to do when you want to wear a T-shirt in the cold weather. I'll tell you the answer to that question right now. Don't do it. If you do, then "Iah will make you cold!" -John Lim pretending to be Ahnold Schwarzzeneger (I made up the quote so this citation is invalid. Don't sue me.)



The real question is this. Is style worth the discomfort?

For the ladies. High heels and just about everything else.

Hell if I woke up and my foot looked like that ever, the first thing I would do is put on a sock. I mean I am a fan of heels I don't mind at all and in fact even enjoy when girls wear heels. But is it worth creating an undead warrior on your foot? Think about it.
Although I do admit as I see female shoes now, they are becoming more and more prone to creating bad feet. Honestly I like nice feet. Buy Dr. Scholls or something ladies! And whosever foot that is, if you ever recognize it as you read my blog, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure thats a foot molded and finally seen after marriage.

For the men.
If you wear really tight pants you are definitely fucking up your junk. Don't do it if you want children.

December

And now is a perfect example of how fast time can really go. Let's take a moment to say "Dam. It's already December".
----Moment-----

I hope as you did that you felt the same sort of bewildered yet excited emotion that I felt. Christmas Eve! Christmas! New Years Eve! John's Birthday!

And so we're entering what i would like to call a series. I'm going to call it the Thy Loin series and I know I'm really killing the loin joke, however; for a little while longer I'm going to ride upon its thunder. And so the next 7 entries will be answers to 7 very important questions/concerns one may have during the upcoming holiday season and my birthday.

T- shirts. Obviously you want to buy a cool t-shirt, but what do you do when it's too cold to show them off?




Hats, You want to wear a hat, but you also want your hair to maintain its luster and form. What to do in this situation?



You want to do something special this holiday season but you don't know where to go!


Leggings are sweet but do you have the legs to fit in them? Are leggings practical? If leggings are not for me, then what can I wear as a substitute?



Oranges! Tangerine season is generally from November - January. What does being in the middle month of the season mean for your orange eating experience?






I want to get John an expensive awesome present for his birthday. Who can I talk to? What can i get him?





Nutrition. John I usually hibernate during the winter and after I wake up, I realize that the reason my phone keeps falling out of my pouch, is because it's part of my stomach. How can I quickly remedy the situation?



And so that's what we're going to be talking about for the next few days. Just letting you guys know and if there's anything else you guys want to be informed about, you're welcome to tell either me or Dustin. Thanks.

P.S. I hope these images aren't copyrighted. If they are I give full credit to where it is due.