Weekend Wrapup (John's Birthday Edition)

Ladies and gents, please wish John Lim a happy 19th birthday. Unfortunately, if you wanted to know what to get him for this important milestone, you're going to have to wait for the soon-to-be irrelevant "I installment" of his critically acclaimed Thy Loin Series. (Unless he changes it to Thi Loyn, it's not gonna come in time to matter for this year.)

Kermit watching 2 girls, 1 cup (not visually explicit, I promise you)

"Are you stepping to Elmo!"

Links of the Week

• The real crime is the fact that this mother bought her son a pink DS
• "Dodged that shit like the Matrix"

Joke of the Day

Two goldfish are in a tank filled with water. One goldfish looks at the other and says, "Goddamn, do you know if the 100,000 mile warranty covers water damage?"

Get it?