Weekend Wrapup (John's Birthday Edition)

Ladies and gents, please wish John Lim a happy 19th birthday. Unfortunately, if you wanted to know what to get him for this important milestone, you're going to have to wait for the soon-to-be irrelevant "I installment" of his critically acclaimed Thy Loin Series. (Unless he changes it to Thi Loyn, it's not gonna come in time to matter for this year.)

Kermit watching 2 girls, 1 cup (not visually explicit, I promise you)

"Are you stepping to Elmo!"

Links of the Week

• The real crime is the fact that this mother bought her son a pink DS
• "Dodged that shit like the Matrix"

Joke of the Day

Two goldfish are in a tank filled with water. One goldfish looks at the other and says, "Goddamn, do you know if the 100,000 mile warranty covers water damage?"

Get it?

To Tide You Over

Well, while John is racking his brains trying to come up with new material busy with finals, here are some things to keep in mind:

• John, this is a dam
  
  
  and this is damn
  
  
• I have a paper on Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics due at 3PM. I will be starting it at 5AM because of a YouTube session that lasted way longer than it should've. I know, you're saying, "Gosh golly gee, Dustin! That couldn't have been worth it. Oh, you and your procrastinating ways." But before you judge me for my transgressions, I ask the jury for leniency due to the awesomeness of the video I ended up on.
  
  
  
  "He said, 'I am extreemaly hungry!'" See, I told you it was explainable. Alas, I still have to write that damn paper.

Links of the Week

• Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire
• Don't pick your nose. No seriously, don't
• Damn Chinaman, that's some passion

Joke of the Day 

Two giraffes walk into a bar. A bartender says, "Hey, I was walking home from work and I was wondering if you two need an ambulance, because that looked like it hurt a lot." 

Get it? Harr.

Weekend Wrapup

Links of the Week

• Note to self: avoid getting frozen stuck to sidewalks
• People who smile on Facebook are generally friends with other smilers
• Batman theme continued [but did you, did you strike terror in his heart??]