H for hats

Had ottos today.
Onward to hats and how to deal with that crazy hat hair. Let me warn you, before I begin this talk, that this is not going to miraculously preserve your hairdo unless you wear helmets as a fashion statement. Then I can suggest that you investigate further in a Hairmet. I'm not sure if this is a fictitious creation or a real one but it does sound promising for frequent bikers or avid helmet wearers.
That's me using this entry as an excuse to be cute. Hello friends!

See the below link for what a hairmet is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0rGoWtF-hs


The only way to truly beat hats, is to abstain from it. As you see in the picture to the right, if you put that apparatus on your head, you would not get hat hair because of the large amounts of the room on the side as well as the abstinence that you are practicing. (I just thought that dude really looked funny and that's why the pictures there as well as the fact that abstinence related to hats is just a funny analogy. ). EDIT Dam the image got owned as you can see so you can't laugh with me but trust me it was funny. So here's a funny button to keep you laughing. EDIT END You might be thinking, Dam John, and I thought you offered a solution! But obviously as hat wearers, we are not interested in abstinence at all. We want to wear our hats and not be afraid that once we take them off, the person left standing is wolverine. Except you're not Hugh Jackman. You're whoever you are and you look silly. And so I offer a solution, a compromise if you will, to settle your score with the beast on top.

A Chinese wise man once told me, that if the enemy is unbeatable, join him. And so I apply that concept to hair. Hat hair is an unbeatable enemy so join it. Train it, mold it and make it become one with you. He also told me that he himself didn't have much hair left so hat hair wasn't his specialty, but his advice was well taken. I developed a system where I always have hat hair, and so it appears as if I never have hat hair.

A little something about me, I shower in the mornings and because its so god dam cold in New York, I put on my hat right after I dry it. I mean obviously I'm not just naked in the shower with a fur hat on thinking Dam now I'm warm and ready to go, but the time discrepancy between the time i put on my hat and the time I shower is not great. However, one time I put my hat on in such a way that my hairs stuck onto my skull completely and so when I took it off, it just looked like a bowl cut and guess what, I love bowl cuts. Thats the secret guys. Fashion your hat hair so that it looks like some sort of haircut and stick with it. Remember that angle you put on your hat, remember how your hair felt and utilize it. You won't need to get a hair cut in months. I'm actually currently on my third month of not cutting hair and it's been great. Shit when I tried to tackle this issue I actually didn't think of what an impossible task it was and how hard it was to be funny with it. I just wanted to spell out Thy Loin with the first letter of my subjects. So I leave you with this last image.





Don't be that guy. Even using 4 chopsticks to depict wolverine's 3 claws won't help. Again all images are not mine except for my face and so I give credit where it's due. BTW SUN YUE 4 fouls 4 points in 5 minutes. WHAT A BEAST