Embedded for Lazy People

youtube debut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfEIiR1NesU

Blast from the past

let it snow snow and snow?

Childhood memories of snow bring nothing but delight. In fact I remember actually getting into a ski jump suit, wearing 3 pairs of socks, wearing my ski goggles and ski hat and my ski jacket, in preparation for an extreme play day in the snow. Of course back then I had a vast sense of imagination, where I could will myself to be on Everest, a stranded climber, or even a rescue team all by myself. Nowadays more snow doesn't equal more adventures, it doesn't even bring with it a guaranteed promise of fun. In fact, what I find myself doing on snowdays more and more, is looking for something to do. And so I'm going to compile of a to-do list, in case any of you are caught with nothing to do, this can be a sort of back-up plan so that we don't have a day where we end up not doing anything, stressed out of our minds not because we couldn't do anything, but because we couldn't think of anything to do.

1. Search "Kim Yuna" on Bing. I actually did a quick study just now on the top 3 most used search engines (I don't know if this is an accurate statement) --google, yahoo, and bing, and found bing to provide the most quality images, with the most images at a time making it the best one to go to. Although on Bing's search I came across a picture of Tyra Banks, from thaindian.com where she loses 30 pounds. I don't see how this in anyway related to kim yuna, and I'm pretty sure tyra is not thai or indian making this quite the strange find. Anyway, the search should at least take 1 -2 hours away from your time as you just surround yourself with this amazing chick. Study her every movement, her habits for your plan of eventual capture. That and since its snowing, ice skating is quite relevant.


Yea that's all i got for you really. I don't do much but sit around and watch time fly by. As a wise TV actor put it when asked what he was good at "I'm really good at passing time. I sit on a chair at 2pm and then BAM its 4 pm." So since I'm just as gifted as this guy, I really don't have to deal with not knowing what to do because I'm already a master at not caring about my day. But I did want to give a shoutout to Kim Yuna since she's great at skating, she just won a gold medal and she's got these sideburns from heaven.
So basically a word to the wise.
Don't look for things to do. Just stop caring. And find someone to look up on a search engine.
Until next time.

-The Postmaster

Utopias part one

Btw before I begin. Search "John Lim" on google images then go to page 7. inside joke to early readers

and now.......

To: a higher being

So everyday that I live, the same issue keeps bothering me over and over again. The world is not the way it should be, in fact what civilization has become at the pinnacle of its existence (now), kinda sucks. And so I'm gonna break it down day by day, ways to make a more perfect society than the one we have today. So the issue we have at hand today is beauty. Some have said "beauty" is a curse upon the world" and I would say i 50% agree with this statement and here's why.

So when I woke up today it was snowing yet again. Snow seems to not be a luxury, but just a fact of life in these parts and it made me feel 2 contrasting emotions. "Wow this snow is pretty, it makes the world look prettier" and "god dam I hate snow, snow sucks its useless, i hate wet socks and it gets nasty and i mean absolutely disgusting after 1-2 days. And then I realized, that's how I feel about all beautiful things that are just beautiful. Wow she's pretty but she annoys the shit out of me. or dam she's hot in that movie, but why is this a movie and not a moving wallpaper. Common examples being Jennifer's Body, or Megan Fox in Transformers, or Megan Fox in Transformers 2, or Megan Fox in real life for that matter.


And so i propose a completely new way of doing things. Complete separation of beauty for the sake of beauty, and the rest of the world, but of course in a way that the non "beautiful" people may enjoy beauty for what it is. Perhaps a division of the world where it snows all the time, where there are hot chicks walking around half naked all the time, for girls i guess half naked good looking men could be there too but in a 70:30 ratio, 70 being half naked hot chicks. Also all the bad movies with beautiful people would immediately be transferred over to that world, such as Jennifer's Body, Into the Blue, and the thousands of other beautiful trash we have, while we can have the all time greats. We could also take vacations to this world and enjoy all the beautiful things it has to offer us. Because as much as beauty pleases the aesthetic soul in all of us, if isolated completely, and if free to the world, it would do us much more good and the amount of time, energy and resources we put in it, could be used in something more practical such as flying cars, or vending machines serving EVERYTHING! In essence, we would control beauty, it wouldn't control us. Its sole purpose would be for our pleasure and enjoyment, rather than our entire dedicated lives.
Of course if you're beautiful and you're also a great person to be around, then of course we want you since but then again perhaps there could be a trade-off system, where you can trade all of your non-beauty related attributes to be even more attractive and transported to the viewing world but of course you wouldn't be able to return. But don't go, since if you do what we'll have left is just ugly ass things.

Win-win situation for everyone. Beautiful people love each other and can be surrounded by each other whereas the common layman could just be himself, without worldly pressure to look better. Imagine that. I'd say around half the world's problems could be solved with a simple separation of beauty for beauty's sake, and the rest of the world.

-The Postmaster

Don't Call It a Comeback; CoTTBMMTTRS Vol. 1

I understand we've lost a lot of our faithful readers by this point and to be honest, it's completely understandable. Let's evaluate the brief history of Allantoeidēs. We started with great optimism and enthusiasm. It was a fresh beginning, we were brimming with wit and humor, and enough inspiration to drop little nuggets of personality at a fantastic pace. From November 29th to December 19th, we managed to write 15 unique posts. Then winter break hit us. The busy holiday season consumed us and we went dormant for the whole break. We never got back on track after that putting out a paltry 9 posts since, half of them being John apologizing for not writing in a while and one lame very, very forgettable human trafficking joke that John botched completely. We could just let it go at this point and I doubt anyone would care but we're making one last ditch attempt to save it. I promise you more posts (4 per week guaranteed) and less John-joke-fails (no guarantees there). We will earn your trust back.

With that out of the way, let me give you the first installment of the Compilation of Things That Bother Me More Than They Really Should. Or CoTTBMMTTRS for short.

1. RAS syndrome. RAS stands for Redundant Acronym Syndrome and you've probably been guilty of at least one of the acronym errors that fall under RAS. How many times have you heard or said PIN number or ATM machine? Well, if you think about it, PIN number means Personal Identification Number number and ATM machine means Automated Teller Machine machine. These acronyms include the word you are adding after it; they got it under control. Assume that your listener knows the definitions of common acronyms such as PIN, ATM, or HIV and don't add the needless word. It's like saying, "I drive a SUV vehicle." I've made these errors at some point in my life I'm sure but it's definitely something I try to avoid now.
2. Unnecessary/excessive capitalization of internet acronyms. Capitalization of acronyms is usually the norm but the internet is the exception. Whenever anything is capitalized on the internet, that is the equivalent of yelling it. Honestly, I lose brain cells every time someone LOLs or ROTFLMAOMGs at me when I ask them what they had for breakfast. This is how such conversations go (screen names have been altered to ensure anonymity):
   

   seventwentytwo89: hey
   seventwentytwo89: did you im me earlier? I was taking a shower.
   SupASaIyIn4125: LOL
   SupASaIyIn4125: yeah
   seventwentytwo89: what's up?
   SupASaIyIn4125: nothin much
   SupASaIyIn4125: LOL
   SupASaIyIn4125: wanna go grab food later?
   SupASaIyIn4125: LOL
   seventwentytwo89 has gone offline.

   A simple lol will suffice most times. To be really honest about it, most times people should be using lqtm (laugh quietly to myself) if they want to be completely accurate because how often do you really "laugh out loud" (much less "roll on the floor laughing")? I don't expect that much out of you but just don't LOL at me every other line.
3. Doing dishes. And laundry. There is nothing funny or interesting to say about this because dishes and laundry are never funny nor interesting.
4. The whole concept of Superman. It's been addressed by greater minds than me in more eloquent words but it bothers me nonetheless. First, he's either overly strong to the point where it's not really intriguing (in presence of Earth sun but not in presence of Kryptonite) or overly weak to the point where it's not really intriguing (in presence of Kryptonite). So in short, he is rarely intriguing. This leads to half of his major battles happening like this: Supes starts out kicking villain's ass, villain reveals his stash of Kryptonite (surprise!), Supes gets so weakened that he is getting beat by mediocre punches and kicks, Supes/Lois Lane/other ally knocks the Kryptonite into a lead vase or far away enough from Superman for him to regain the upper hand and kick villain's ass for good. Secondly, this guy Clark Kent looks exactly like Superman minus the tights, glasses, and little hair twist and everyone is fooled? Never mind the fact that they're never seen together, they are both tall and ridiculously barrel-chested. I've tried to create an alter-ego with glasses and hair gel and it doesn't work even in a school full of Asians. Everyone who knows Clark Kent and has seen Superman should be able to make that connection barring legal blindness.
5. Plot holes in Heroes. Like the Irish girl that Peter Petrelli was boning in Season 2. That got stuck in the future and Peter doesn't really seem to remember/care. I'm precipitously [great word] close to cutting my losses and dropping the show from the list of things I care about for a show that deserves it like The Wire or shows I've heard good things about like Californication, Dollhouse, and How I Met Your Mother.

Until the next time...

April Fool's Day

Something to think about....

As I was planning nefarious schemes today to enact on people, it became clear to me the amount of commitment, the amount of planning required was enormous. It was almost unbearable and the satisfaction you would get of lying to someone's face and getting away with it, was drained by the constant need of awareness to exactly what your next move was.

Since when did april fool's day get so complicated? As a child a simple fart on you, whoopee cushion you, gunk in the hair; All these things could have sufficed as a prank but now that we've grown everything is so psychological. How can we fuck with your head the most in this day and make your believe it is our goal more than how can we humiliate you in a small funny way. What does that say about us as a rising generation of adults? 

Just some food for thought. 

Movie Weekend

And so now it's around that time of year when all the good movies have already come out or are planning to come out at a time so far off that we aren't actually waiting eagerly for their release. And so Hollywood bombards us with loads of crap to keep us going to the theaters just because we haven't seen a movie in a while.
In fact I actually heard this conversation yesterday.

James: hey Jone what are you doing this weekend.
Jone: I don't know I'm thinking about going to eat at "_____________"(I'm taking offers from restaurants or small places of food consumption to fill this empty line. Cheap advertisements start here! contact me at jjangshift8@gmail.com or leave a comment with your phone number)
James: Want to go see a movie? We haven't seen one in a while.
Jone: That sounds like a great idea. What should we watch?
James: I don't know why don't we go check omegapsoa.blogspot.com? They usually have some good information about things that their readers need.

And HOW RIGHT JAMES WAS! After sifting through the crap that was put out, I did find a few gems here and there. Here are the top 3 movies that I would recommend going to see this week.
NOTE TO READER: I have not actually seen any of these movies. Ratings may change later this week.
1. Monsters vs. Aliens 3-d
First of all I want to give a shout out to the creators of AVP. Here is a better version of all the movies you have ever created. I actually haven't seen any of them but an animated movie about a girl who grows enormously after being "clobbered" by space goo and is eventually named "Ginormica" is a tough concept for any movie to beat. Many a time when I see movies such as these come out where it's just ridiculous idea after another meshed together into one ginormic (failed pun attempt) film, I feel like it's a project that the team here at omegapsoa could've come up with. Ever since I've seen Kung Fu Panda, The Incredibles, Finding Nemo and even Shark Tale, my faith in the entertainment value of animated films has sky rocketed. Go watch this with anyone and I guarantee you'll have a good time.

2. Fast and Furious
First of all, the originality of all the titles of this series amazes me. First we had "The Fast and The Furious". Then we had "2 Fast 2 Furious", "The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift". And now we have "Fast and Furious". Who comes up with these titles?! We may never know, but one thing is clear, this guy is a genius. Perhaps he is the guy responsible for naming all of Jason Statham's movies as well. Jordana Brewster is also something to look forward to as we didn't really get to see her in the first film and judging from the picture to the left, she is clearly looking forward straight into her future as "that chick from those movies where the cars drove fast and stuff man!" However, even with all these great things to look forward to, I think the one thing the movie has going for it is its nostalgic value. I wouldn't be surprised to see lines and lines of people starting to street race again because of this film just like they did 8 years ago when the first one came out. truly a film worthy of social revolution.

3. knOwing
First of all, Nicolas Cage has the knack of making the "most ridiculous movie plots ever" believable. National treasure one AND two anyone? But I do love the actor of "face off" "con air" and "the family man" and I believe in his ability to make any movie entertaining. This movie is about a man who discovers a list of numbers and immediately associates them with a chronological list of all the world disasters to happen. Clearly the same guy from national treasure has jumped into "knowing". I mean how smart is this guy. Had i seen that number full of papers I would'nt have come close to doing anything with it. Maybe use it as a sandwhich wrapper. Even that would be outlasting its purpose. Either way I'm convinced it'll be entertaining at the very least. I also have to support the man who is currently boning one of my people around the same age as me. Yes I am willing to go there to make this post a bit more entertaining. Good going nick!
Originally I planned on doing a top 5 but I got lazy so I made it a top 3. I would recommend "I love you, man" for those already dating a girl and "The Haunting in Connecticut" for those who want to be dating the girl they are bringing. But if you are afraid of scary movies then you should probably bring a pair of "tinted glasses" that are actually just regular sunglasses and flex the entire movie to bring about that false sense of security to the girl you are accompanying.

i know

I know I know youre probably thinking no not this again. I can't deal with your false promises again! But then again, promises over the internet shouldn't be taken seriously anyway. That's how people lose money. Anyway, me and Dustin have decided to resuscitate the blog even though it had a DNR form lying on it. We promise 4 entries a week every week for a month. And from then on we'll make another oath to you the people as promises are not enough anymore. Look forward to it.

Hello again.

hello everyone. I will not lie I am guilty as charged. I have been hiding away in a land not so far away from you all to escape the scrutiny and expectation that comes with being a writer. I was bombed out though and so here I am. ohh herro!

Today I was sitting in burger king and reminiscing about better times when I remembered that BK used to sell tacos. I actually called a few people to see if I could get any confirmation of this fact, and the responses I got ranged from "you're a lunatic" to "you're stupid". And so with not much encouragement and a heavy heart I began to wonder if perhaps the burger king taco vision that I had was nothing but a falsity.




But lo and behold....
And so I once again realized that my memory for great and awesome things would never fail me ever. And for those who doubt me I tell you that I am not to be doubted!




And so I write this eulogy to the burger king taco.
You were so good my friend. I am sad to see that you have now gone where I can no longer consume you. Rest in Peace until next time.
Maybe Taco Bell is going to come out with burgers! And pizza hut with chicken nuggets?!?! And McDonalds with Pizza? I mean dominoes has already started making baked subs. What is going to happen next?!?!
I can only dream friends. Dream of the great creations that will come out that are not that original in themselves, but "with a glass eye" (dunno if thats a legitimate expression", they are the most original things to have happened in fast food history!

Phenomena

So I was looking up recent phenomena and all of them are kind of dumb. There was one about a woman who heard voices and smelled dog poop. http://en.allexperts.com/q/Paranormal-Phenomena-3278/Recent-Phenomenon.htm. And so I decided that it was a stupid topic to talk about anyway. Well what really happened was I got caught up playing WoW and so I didn't really do all of my research. Sorry guys, it won't happen again. 

I realize that I'm better at planning to do things than actually doing them. This is pretty evident from how I love writing entries about what I'll write about, but when I'm fulfilling that promise I find it such a burden. But for you guys, anything to make up for our lost time together. 

Also there aren't really many jokes to crack about phenomena. Theyre just crazy ass shit that happen in our everyday lives. Sometimes they are interesting such as U.F.Os and Bigfoot, sometimes they are scary like people disappearing, or people who just know where you are. Btw I've met one of those people who can just pinpoint locations and believe me, it is pretty mindboggling.
As I was trying to recall what it is that led me to talk about this, or even want to talk about this, I couldn't remember exactly what my train of thought was but I do know that I went head first into it without a plan. WAIT A SECOND! JUST FOUNND SOME CRAZY ASS SHIT!

It is called the 100th monkey phenomenon. Let me lay it out for you. So there are 99 monkeys on an island. One monkey learns that washing his piece of sweet potato in the river makes it less disease oriented and makes for a longer life. He then teaches monkey number 2 how to wash the sweet potatos in order to help his buddy monkey number 2 also live a healthier life. Soon after, the entire island of 99 monkeys get taught by each other to wash their potatos for the sake of good public health. However, a human scientist comes and says "Hey man. There's 99 monkeys. Let's just drop 1 in to make an even 100". And So the 100th Monkey is added to the peaceful colony of 99 monkeys. The monkeys soon befriend him and teach him the way of their island. For this is an island with good hygeine! And so he learns how to clean sweet potatoes as well effectively making him part of this monkey community. As soon as he does this however, monkeys on different islands all over the world begin to start washing their sweet potatos and this sweet potato washing trend, becomes a world monkey movement, all because of that one extra monkey.

"Watson alleged that the scientists were "reluctant to publish [the whole story] for fear of ridicule." He wrote that he had "to gather the rest of the story from personal anecdotes and bits of folklore among primate researchers, because most of them are still not quite sure what happened." (Taken from whowever this Watson is. It's a quote from somewhere I give credit where credits do I do not take any credit for this).
Hell if I said something like that too I would be all afraid to publish my thoughts. Hell that's like saying that The Knicks are good, or that  Warren's straight or even the forbidden I actually did your mother, mother joke. Either way, it's ridiculous and things like this happening makes me feel that the world I'm living in is a huge farce. And I love it. 

Phenomenons. What a wonderful world.
-The Postmaster

Movies describe life

First of all I wanted to commend encyetoutou for his commitment to this blog. Love you man. Even when I give up you still are there commenting diligently. Let's all give him a hand clap in our heart.
Second order of business. It's been brought to my attention that I need an alias. And so from now on I will refer to myself as the "postmaster". Because I always deliver. YES! That and its a bad pun involving me being a deliverer as well as a master of posting. Suits me perfectly.

Third order of business. It has also been brought to my attention that I am lazy and full of false promises so I offer you today the first legitimate post of the year from me.
I realize that writing in a blog, it's hard to come up with content all the time. When the muse is upon me, I am not near a computer, when I'm attempting to write a blog the muse leaves. And so I decided that from now on I'm going to come up with a battle plan for what's going to be coming every week. So feel free to comment on what else you'd like me to write about but so far it looks like this week is going to break down into these subjects.


Tomorrow, we'll be talking about recent paranormal phenomenon happening in the world today along with look alikes and other random stuff. Be excited to hear about the craziest shit happening in the world and what I think about it. And believe me. It's not gonna be good for the phenomenons. Either that or I'm personally gonna be blown away. Highly doubt it though.




The day after tommorow we'll be talking about, "the day after tommorow". Or the global weather crisis. I know I know it's been talked about way too much, but with the weather getting so dam freaky, I believe its an issue that must be dealt with and dealt with quickly. The more people think about it, the greater the chances are that it won't happen, or it'll happen after we're dead. Which I'd be completely okay with.
Edit: Just after I wrote this post it started snowing. Phenomenon?!?! Involving John?



And we'll end the week talking about human trafficking. I actually recently saw Taken and was really impressed with it. It makes me almost want to join the government and almost want to have a daughter taken away so I can do that shit too. BUT. I don't want this so don't hold this against me! And if you want to take my daughter away, I don't got one you human trafficker! So fuck you! haha. But seriously. Human trafficking is a serious issue and deserves a serious opinion and a serious view on it. And because I'm such a serious guy with a serious view of life, I'll seriously be talking about this serious issue... Seriously.

I would blog on Sunday but it's the sabbath so I'm not allowed to. Sorry dudes. But I do encourage all of you to comment on Sunday. I may be commenting on myself as well. So that's the future look for this week, Maybe dustin'll write a little something. Maybe warren will. Maybe ken will. And if you want to, email me at jjangshift8@gmail.com and I'll let you know if you can. If it sucks I'll tell you how terrible it is and you can try harder next time.

Thanks guys!

-The Postmaster

number 44.

The number 44 has a new line to add to its resume as the most recognized or used number in our generation. President-elect Obama has been inaugurated to become the 44th president of the united states. I imagine all the number 44 enthusiasts are jumping for joy as they finally have something to talk about other than the code for international calls to the united kingdom, vicks formula 44, or for the women in the group, the number of the french department Loire-Atlantique. And for those dieing to talk about politics, rather than exlaim again that the number of days between Clinton and W's birthdays is forty four, they can talk about what the fourty fourth president is doing right now.

As our nation goes on towards its maiden voyage with mostly black president, there's a lot of things to consider. Now I'm not a very politically correct guy, nor am I knowledgeable in the field but there is one fact of life that I do know. Every maiden voyage either ends up greatly successful, such as the discovery of America, or a great fail, going to transporter 3 on its opening day. Whatever does happen though, we all hope for the best and Mr. Obama congratulations and we wish you good luck.
BTW our new layout is meant to make this blog look more calming, professional also has a greek theme and a presidential theme if you can notice at the top of every entry there is a little oval office. so comment on that.

"What's your name, what's your sign, damn you got me repeating lines"

Edit: Site redesign. Enjoy.

I know this blog kind of has a lot to make up for the long hiatus we all took from updating. I'm pleased to say that starting this week, you will get around 5-7 entries a week consistently so don't give up on John yet.

Anyway, I was thinking of what to write about. I pondered for a while and realized that I really like lists and more specifically, rankings. So why not doing a ranking for you good folks? The OCD side of me really likes to sort things out according to a way that makes sense. I constantly rank things in my mind, whether it's point guards or places I like to eat. I want to readily be able to say, so-and-so is better than so-and-so. So today I'm unveiling my first of hopefully many rankings, on something I've seen in the newspaper many times on long commutes; horoscopes and more specifically the Zodiac signs.

Zodiac Power Rankings
[Notable persons are generally in a best to worst order. Coolest to lamest, most desirable to least desirable, most accomplished to most failed, etc.]

12. Cancer (The Crab)

There really is no disputing that Cancer is the worst Zodiac sign. The most commonly attributed meaning to the word is a deadly disease that kills millions a year. Whenever someone asks for my sign so they could check it in the newspaper I have to say, "I'm a Cancer." Honestly, they should've named the medical term something else because I'm pretty sure the Greek myth of Cancer the Crab and the constellation got here first. Don't just try to share the word if the medical term is gonna stand for something as deadly as cancer. To top it off, the animal associated with Cancer is a predictably a crab. At first glance, crabs seem relatively dangerous; those claws seem like suitable offensive weapons. But really, crabs are usually too small to be a threat and they can't jump or fly to claw out your eyes. Crabs are generally only dangerous to bare feet and promiscuously active penises.

Notable Cancers: Derek Jeter, Petra Nemcova, Kristen Bell, Josh Hartnett, Dalai Lama, Dustin Kim, Tom Cruise, George W. Bush, Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, prostate, 50 Cent

11. Capricorn (The Sea-Goat)

This is a Sea-Goat: 

...enough said. But if you want me to say more, goats were never very cool to begin with; combining a goat with a huge fish certainly isn't the way to make them any cooler. Try sunglasses, a convertible, and a pack of slickly branded cigarettes next time. Duh.

Notable Capricorns: Tiger Woods, Muhammed Ali, Denzel Washington, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Kate Bosworth, Zooey Deschanel, Orlando Bloom, Heather Choe, Jude Law, Warren Li, Ricky Martin, Andrew Chu, Jared Leto

10. Aquarius (The Water Carrier)

"According to the Greek mythology, Aquarius was 'cup-bearer to the Gods' (Ganymede). Ganymede was the son of Tros, king of Troy. While tending his father's flocks on Mount Ida, Ganymede was spotted by Zeus. The king of gods became enamored of the boy and flew down to the mountain in the form of a large bird, whisking Ganymede away to the heavens. Ever since, the boy has served as the cupbearer of the Greek gods." He's to be played by Adam Sandler if the film adaptation gets picked up by a studio.

Notable Aquarians: Michael Jordan, Justin Timberlake, Doutzen Kroes, Elizabeth Banks, Phil Collins, Jennifer Aniston, Mischa Barton, Chris Rock, Judy Blume, Ken Jin, Joey Fatone, Nick Carter, Paris Hilton, Sarah Palin

9. Pisces (The Fishes)

Pisces gets points immediately taken off for looking like a typo of 'pieces'. Other than that, Pisces doesn't really stand out. Goldfish crackers are delicious if you get the right flavor so it gets the slight edge over Waterboy and the Pokemon-inspired Goatfish. I also kinda like the way it's pronounced.

Notables Pisces: Ellen Page,  Shaquille O'Neal, Jessica Biel, Eva Longoria, Rihanna, Steve Jobs, Bruce Willis, Queen Latifah

8. Libra (The Scales)

I may have Libra too high considering that they're representative of an inanimate object. But the notable Libras are generally pretty awesome with a very low concentration of douche so I gave them a slight boost in the rankings. But it's safe to say, if all the Zodiac symbols got into a huge fight, the Scales would be getting humped by the Sea-Goat.

Notable Libras: Usher, Will Smith, Rachel McAdams, Aimee Teegarden, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Matt Damon, T.I., Hilary Duff, Yo-Yo Ma

7. Virgo (The Virgin)

I watched The 40 Year Old Virgin the other day and realized that Steve Carrell plays the same character in every movie. It's not easy to get to a point in your craft where you're so good at one aspect of it that you can make your living off of that. Steve Carrell may never be able to play a wide variety of roles but his delivery of what he does right now is so on point, it doesn't really matter. He's the Jason Kapono of acting. Back on the real topic though, if you wikipedia Virgo and check out the picture they have for the entry, you can tell why she's a virgin. Snap.

Notable Virgos: Cassie, Rachel Bilson, Cameron Diaz, Beyonce Knowles, Ludacris, Keanu Reeves, Michael Jackson, Macaulay Culkin, Ricki Lake, Jimmy Fallon

6. Taurus (The Bull)

Other than being the name of a fairly successful Ford automobile model, Taurus also happens to be the 6th ranked Zodiac sign. Taurus reminded how I never caught a Tauros in the Safari Zone, knocking it down from 5th to 6th. The bull is always a solid choice for an animal mascot though so I couldn't drop it far. 

Notable Tauruses: Amber Heard, Jessica Alba, Chris Brown, George Clooney, Stevie Wonder, Bono, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino

5. Gemini (The Twins)

It's kinda weird how the Olsen twins, probably the most famous twins of the last century happen to be Geminis. Imagine if everyone born in this time period were twins because of some astrological phenomenon. We could have two Natalie Portmans, Adriana Limas, and Morgan Freemans in the world! Although, Kanye West would probably end up committing fratricide on his twin brother for taking away some of his shine.

Notable Gemini: Natalie Portman, Anna Kournikova, Adriana Lima, Ashley Olsen, Morgan Freeman, Johnny Depp, Heidi Klum, Kanye West, Mark Wahlberg, Venus Williams, Drew Carey, Mary-Kate Olsen

4. Aries (The Ram)

What the hell, there are too many goddamn Zodiac signs. Maybe this was too ambitious of an entry attempt to jump right back into cold turkey. I've stalled like 4 times already. Gotta finish at this point though, I've come too far. Uhhh, I...like...Hermione.

Notable Aries: Emma Watson, Miranda Kerr, Keira Knightley, Amanda Bynes, Paul Rudd, Jackie Chan, Zach Braff, Robert Downey Jr., Sir Elton John, Conan O'Brien, David Letterman, Fergie, Sarah Jessica Parker, Rosie O'Donnell

3. Sagittarius (The Archer)

Could've taken the number two spot in my rankings based on some merits but the name Sagittarius detracted from its overall case. Not only is it difficult to say but it sounds rather non-hetero. (Probably because I could see Warren calling John a Fagittarius in jest.) Regardless, the Archer is probably the coolest symbol among the Zodiac signs. I would take being an archer over a crab everyday of the week. A good diverse mix of notables too.

Notable Sagittariuses: Kristin Kreuk, Vanessa Hudgens, Scarlett Johannson, Jay-Z, Elisha Cuthbert, Shel Silverstein, Christina Aguilera, Katie Holmes, Alyssa Milano, Brad Pitt, Jon Stewart, Samuel L. Jackson, Miley Cyrus, John Lim, Britney Spears

2. Scorpio (The Scorpion)

The coolest sounding name for a Zodiac sign is most likely Scorpio. It just sounds like a comic book villain's name and Marvel thoroughly agrees with me. Pound for pound, the Scorpion is probably the deadliest of all the Zodiac creatures. But at the same time, I feel like if I'm aware of the Scorpion's presence, a swift and accurate kick would take care of the threat. Would definitely kill Cancer the Crab easily. Cancer the Crab is like if you took a scorpion and took away its venomous tail and replaced it with an inability to walk straight.

Notable Scorpios: Leonardo DiCaprio, BoA, Martin Scorsese, Daniel Kang, Megan Lee, Bill Gates, David Schwimmer, Hillary Clinton, Danny DeVito

1. Leo (The Lion)

Too easy. Anyone who has grown up watching the Lion King Everyone not named Scar knows that the lions rule the animal kingdom with a fair, yet just rule, imposing their dominance when necessary to keep the circle of life in check. In the Zodiac kingdom, the Lion would scoff at the competition for the throne. Sea-goats? Fish? Crabs? 

Notable Leos: Charlize Theron, Mila Kunis, Kina Grannis, Evangeline Lilly, Kate Beckinsale, Yvonne Strahovski, Ed Norton, Halle Berry, Hayden Panettiere, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc, Casey Affleck, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, Madonna and Alex Rodriguez

Remind me to only rank things in groups of 5 next time.

Start of 2009 with a BANG! or not?

Hello hello friends, brothers, sisters and all people who follow this blog. We've been having trouble with our writers, mainly a strong sense of idleness as well as a failed muse. However we have located this malfunctioning thought spark and fixed it so we should be seeing an exponential increase in the activity of all writers as well as the readers. Honestly the reader comments are one of my favorite parts of this blog as they provide such great feedback to all of our entries. Thank you readers for your amazing contribution.

That was what our higher ups told me to tell you guys, so once again I apologize for the delay. This is John Lim and I hope you guys have been looking forward to the re launch of this blog. We might actually see a site layout change possibly so be excited for that.
Quick thing I wanted to share with you before I exit today. I was actually eating a french toast this morning when I had a revelation. Now I warn you I may be wrong but I believe that I may be right. And so as I was eating this french toast, I was thinking it would be nice to have a butler cook me my breakfast, wheel me around my house in my chair and other great tasks such as pouring water for me after getting me my cup. And all that thought eventually led me to thoughts about Alfred. I decided I'd also like a butler who gave great pep talks and tales of far far lands. But then I realized a troubling fact. In Batman: The Dark Knight, Commisioner Gordon tells Batman that he could not cover up two dead cops as well as all the other shit Two Face did while he was walking around as if he were the terminator. If those two dead cops refer to the cops that he confronted, only one of them actually died. The cop in the bar gets shot, but the chick latina cop just gets hit the fuck out with the end of a pistol. NO BANG FOR HER. This is in reference to the title of the entry. (haha). And so that led me to believe it was a movie blooper. Please comment on this so I may know if I am wrong or right.
And so it begins again. THE CRAZINESS! Thanks for taking me back ya'll.
P.S.
it's come to my attention that we have 13 followers. that's unlucky. someone invite a friend, pet, relative or somtehing so we can pass that roadblock.

snow

Foreword: It has been brought to my attention that the margins for this blog blow. Click on the following pictures for a full view. It'll be worth it.

Just got home yesterday after a draining finals week, woke up this morning afternoon to a winter wonderland. Don't you just love looking out and seeing snow blanketing the ground? Can't wait to chuck my first snowball-at-unsuspecting-little-kid of the winter. Oh, and on snow: in my opinion, Boston College should only advertise itself with pictures of a snowy campus. The word 'majestic' comes to mind.

Also I've been thinking recently. I love to bitch and whine about the cold, whether in New York or my adopted home of Boston. But considering we get a true blizzard maybe once a decade, we've got a pretty good deal right? I hope the following pictures make you appreciate our cold winters and muggy summers, with an assist from respected link provider, Jonathan Swaby.



These pictures are of, in order, Sichuan earthquake, flooding in Iowa, flooding in Haiti, and simultaneous electrical storm and volcanic eruption (!!!!) in Chile.

Enjoy.

so...i'm up late.

hey all.

so, I'm home already. No more finals. No more papers. Nothing at all to do, really. So why am I up at 5:08 AM? I've been putting off sleep for the last 4 hours or so, because I've been waiting for Kina Grannis (aka my Youtube lover that doesn't know she's my lover) to post her weekly Monday video. However, because she lives in California, and is busy i guess, there is still no video as of now. This is not the first time this has happened. I always find myself having the same argument in my head at around 1am every tuesday morning: "should i go to bed, or should i find some shit to do until kina posts her video?" some shit to do always wins. i always lose.

uh...so I didn't really have a plan for this entry. It was kind of just something to do so i could wait a couple more minutes...but here is the video that popped my kina cherry so now i will rape you with it.



ok so btw, im chatting with kina grannis right now. there's a shoutbox thing on her blog page and i was talking to some random person on it. and kina showed up. and now we are conversating. HIGH FIVE!

k bye!

Weekend Wrapup (John's Birthday Edition)

Ladies and gents, please wish John Lim a happy 19th birthday. Unfortunately, if you wanted to know what to get him for this important milestone, you're going to have to wait for the soon-to-be irrelevant "I installment" of his critically acclaimed Thy Loin Series. (Unless he changes it to Thi Loyn, it's not gonna come in time to matter for this year.)

Kermit watching 2 girls, 1 cup (not visually explicit, I promise you)

"Are you stepping to Elmo!"

Links of the Week

• The real crime is the fact that this mother bought her son a pink DS
• "Dodged that shit like the Matrix"

Joke of the Day

Two goldfish are in a tank filled with water. One goldfish looks at the other and says, "Goddamn, do you know if the 100,000 mile warranty covers water damage?"

Get it?

To Tide You Over

Well, while John is racking his brains trying to come up with new material busy with finals, here are some things to keep in mind:

• John, this is a dam
  
  
  and this is damn
  
  
• I have a paper on Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics due at 3PM. I will be starting it at 5AM because of a YouTube session that lasted way longer than it should've. I know, you're saying, "Gosh golly gee, Dustin! That couldn't have been worth it. Oh, you and your procrastinating ways." But before you judge me for my transgressions, I ask the jury for leniency due to the awesomeness of the video I ended up on.
  
  
  
  "He said, 'I am extreemaly hungry!'" See, I told you it was explainable. Alas, I still have to write that damn paper.

Links of the Week

• Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire
• Don't pick your nose. No seriously, don't
• Damn Chinaman, that's some passion

Joke of the Day 

Two giraffes walk into a bar. A bartender says, "Hey, I was walking home from work and I was wondering if you two need an ambulance, because that looked like it hurt a lot." 

Get it? Harr.

explanation

Hey guys I'm pretty swamped with finals particularly organic chemistry. DUN DUN DUN!!!!

And so I apologize for the lack of activity but I assure you that we'll be back up and running after the 15th. And after the 13th there will be a lengthy entry to satisfy your desire for ridiculous banter. Anyway for today let me tell you a story about.... today.

So I was singing This Christmas at Barnes and Noble, Not the Donny Hathaway version but the Chris Brown version. And for those of you who dont know Chris Brown has the ill multiple notes in one word quick voice change technique. So I was at this really intense part, "Caroling through the night" the second or third time he does it I believe, and this guy walking behind me on the escalator just stopped walking. And so I looked at him, he looked at me. And I continued to sing. You might be thinking, dam John you can't sing loud in public places. But I tell you this. I was singing in a relatively soft voice but because of the intensity of the part and the height of the notes, I had to be louder than I planned to be.

And with that I introduce... Chris Brown.



I ask you to notice particularly the third and second caroling through the night and imagine me on an escalator quietly but loudly singing that part. Then imagine you as a random middle aged man staring at me. Just imagine it. 

EDIT

I was watching the music video and I love it. Mad funny. Especially the part when the christmas lights turn on because of Chris Brown's amazing abilities. I wish I can do that. I remember we were gonna lip sync this MV just because that part was awesome. Things to notice, the girl next to Chris Brown in the family dinner scene is hot and I dance like Chris Brown when I'm at home. Especially the spin moves. 

With that I leave you today. Good luck with finals. Don't suck.