snow

Foreword: It has been brought to my attention that the margins for this blog blow. Click on the following pictures for a full view. It'll be worth it.

Just got home yesterday after a draining finals week, woke up this morning afternoon to a winter wonderland. Don't you just love looking out and seeing snow blanketing the ground? Can't wait to chuck my first snowball-at-unsuspecting-little-kid of the winter. Oh, and on snow: in my opinion, Boston College should only advertise itself with pictures of a snowy campus. The word 'majestic' comes to mind.

Also I've been thinking recently. I love to bitch and whine about the cold, whether in New York or my adopted home of Boston. But considering we get a true blizzard maybe once a decade, we've got a pretty good deal right? I hope the following pictures make you appreciate our cold winters and muggy summers, with an assist from respected link provider, Jonathan Swaby.



These pictures are of, in order, Sichuan earthquake, flooding in Iowa, flooding in Haiti, and simultaneous electrical storm and volcanic eruption (!!!!) in Chile.

Enjoy.

so...i'm up late.

hey all.

so, I'm home already. No more finals. No more papers. Nothing at all to do, really. So why am I up at 5:08 AM? I've been putting off sleep for the last 4 hours or so, because I've been waiting for Kina Grannis (aka my Youtube lover that doesn't know she's my lover) to post her weekly Monday video. However, because she lives in California, and is busy i guess, there is still no video as of now. This is not the first time this has happened. I always find myself having the same argument in my head at around 1am every tuesday morning: "should i go to bed, or should i find some shit to do until kina posts her video?" some shit to do always wins. i always lose.

uh...so I didn't really have a plan for this entry. It was kind of just something to do so i could wait a couple more minutes...but here is the video that popped my kina cherry so now i will rape you with it.



ok so btw, im chatting with kina grannis right now. there's a shoutbox thing on her blog page and i was talking to some random person on it. and kina showed up. and now we are conversating. HIGH FIVE!

k bye!

Weekend Wrapup (John's Birthday Edition)

Ladies and gents, please wish John Lim a happy 19th birthday. Unfortunately, if you wanted to know what to get him for this important milestone, you're going to have to wait for the soon-to-be irrelevant "I installment" of his critically acclaimed Thy Loin Series. (Unless he changes it to Thi Loyn, it's not gonna come in time to matter for this year.)

Kermit watching 2 girls, 1 cup (not visually explicit, I promise you)

"Are you stepping to Elmo!"

Links of the Week

• The real crime is the fact that this mother bought her son a pink DS
• "Dodged that shit like the Matrix"

Joke of the Day

Two goldfish are in a tank filled with water. One goldfish looks at the other and says, "Goddamn, do you know if the 100,000 mile warranty covers water damage?"

Get it?

To Tide You Over

Well, while John is racking his brains trying to come up with new material busy with finals, here are some things to keep in mind:

• John, this is a dam
  
  
  and this is damn
  
  
• I have a paper on Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics due at 3PM. I will be starting it at 5AM because of a YouTube session that lasted way longer than it should've. I know, you're saying, "Gosh golly gee, Dustin! That couldn't have been worth it. Oh, you and your procrastinating ways." But before you judge me for my transgressions, I ask the jury for leniency due to the awesomeness of the video I ended up on.
  
  
  
  "He said, 'I am extreemaly hungry!'" See, I told you it was explainable. Alas, I still have to write that damn paper.

Links of the Week

• Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire
• Don't pick your nose. No seriously, don't
• Damn Chinaman, that's some passion

Joke of the Day 

Two giraffes walk into a bar. A bartender says, "Hey, I was walking home from work and I was wondering if you two need an ambulance, because that looked like it hurt a lot." 

Get it? Harr.

explanation

Hey guys I'm pretty swamped with finals particularly organic chemistry. DUN DUN DUN!!!!

And so I apologize for the lack of activity but I assure you that we'll be back up and running after the 15th. And after the 13th there will be a lengthy entry to satisfy your desire for ridiculous banter. Anyway for today let me tell you a story about.... today.

So I was singing This Christmas at Barnes and Noble, Not the Donny Hathaway version but the Chris Brown version. And for those of you who dont know Chris Brown has the ill multiple notes in one word quick voice change technique. So I was at this really intense part, "Caroling through the night" the second or third time he does it I believe, and this guy walking behind me on the escalator just stopped walking. And so I looked at him, he looked at me. And I continued to sing. You might be thinking, dam John you can't sing loud in public places. But I tell you this. I was singing in a relatively soft voice but because of the intensity of the part and the height of the notes, I had to be louder than I planned to be.

And with that I introduce... Chris Brown.



I ask you to notice particularly the third and second caroling through the night and imagine me on an escalator quietly but loudly singing that part. Then imagine you as a random middle aged man staring at me. Just imagine it. 

EDIT

I was watching the music video and I love it. Mad funny. Especially the part when the christmas lights turn on because of Chris Brown's amazing abilities. I wish I can do that. I remember we were gonna lip sync this MV just because that part was awesome. Things to notice, the girl next to Chris Brown in the family dinner scene is hot and I dance like Chris Brown when I'm at home. Especially the spin moves. 

With that I leave you today. Good luck with finals. Don't suck.

Weekend Wrapup

Links of the Week

• Note to self: avoid getting frozen stuck to sidewalks
• People who smile on Facebook are generally friends with other smilers
• Batman theme continued [but did you, did you strike terror in his heart??]

H for hats

Had ottos today.
Onward to hats and how to deal with that crazy hat hair. Let me warn you, before I begin this talk, that this is not going to miraculously preserve your hairdo unless you wear helmets as a fashion statement. Then I can suggest that you investigate further in a Hairmet. I'm not sure if this is a fictitious creation or a real one but it does sound promising for frequent bikers or avid helmet wearers.
That's me using this entry as an excuse to be cute. Hello friends!

See the below link for what a hairmet is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0rGoWtF-hs


The only way to truly beat hats, is to abstain from it. As you see in the picture to the right, if you put that apparatus on your head, you would not get hat hair because of the large amounts of the room on the side as well as the abstinence that you are practicing. (I just thought that dude really looked funny and that's why the pictures there as well as the fact that abstinence related to hats is just a funny analogy. ). EDIT Dam the image got owned as you can see so you can't laugh with me but trust me it was funny. So here's a funny button to keep you laughing. EDIT END You might be thinking, Dam John, and I thought you offered a solution! But obviously as hat wearers, we are not interested in abstinence at all. We want to wear our hats and not be afraid that once we take them off, the person left standing is wolverine. Except you're not Hugh Jackman. You're whoever you are and you look silly. And so I offer a solution, a compromise if you will, to settle your score with the beast on top.

A Chinese wise man once told me, that if the enemy is unbeatable, join him. And so I apply that concept to hair. Hat hair is an unbeatable enemy so join it. Train it, mold it and make it become one with you. He also told me that he himself didn't have much hair left so hat hair wasn't his specialty, but his advice was well taken. I developed a system where I always have hat hair, and so it appears as if I never have hat hair.

A little something about me, I shower in the mornings and because its so god dam cold in New York, I put on my hat right after I dry it. I mean obviously I'm not just naked in the shower with a fur hat on thinking Dam now I'm warm and ready to go, but the time discrepancy between the time i put on my hat and the time I shower is not great. However, one time I put my hat on in such a way that my hairs stuck onto my skull completely and so when I took it off, it just looked like a bowl cut and guess what, I love bowl cuts. Thats the secret guys. Fashion your hat hair so that it looks like some sort of haircut and stick with it. Remember that angle you put on your hat, remember how your hair felt and utilize it. You won't need to get a hair cut in months. I'm actually currently on my third month of not cutting hair and it's been great. Shit when I tried to tackle this issue I actually didn't think of what an impossible task it was and how hard it was to be funny with it. I just wanted to spell out Thy Loin with the first letter of my subjects. So I leave you with this last image.





Don't be that guy. Even using 4 chopsticks to depict wolverine's 3 claws won't help. Again all images are not mine except for my face and so I give credit where it's due. BTW SUN YUE 4 fouls 4 points in 5 minutes. WHAT A BEAST

A Pictureless, Linkless Affair (Now With 78% More Footnotes!)

John got owned by the blog's auto-formatting wizardry and he gave up on updating tonight last night. To tide you over, I will ramble aimlessly.

Some of you loyal readers are undoubtedly thinking, 'I'm thoroughly enjoying, yet at the same time overwhelmed by all the awesomeness these boys are bringing in every post.' With all the funny pictures, interesting links, and cleverly-woven anecdotes in every post, it's pretty easy to see that all of us have copious amounts of wit and humor. Ergo, I will go against the grain and not be using any pictures or links for today.

On a related note, 'ergo' and 'alas' are very underrated words. Use them whenever you can get away with it because I think they're awesome. Best used with the white-mustache-and-monocle combo. But I like them anyway.

Okay, so you know those Tempur-Pedic commercials where they place a glass of wine on one part of the mattress and then like jump around on the other part and the glass of wine doesn't fall.¹ Have you ever thought, 'Why would I ever need that feature? Why are they marketing a feature that doesn't seem useful at all?'² Well I would've thoroughly enjoyed that feature today. So like 4 hours ago, I looked in my fridge for foods to eat. I saw the crunchy peanut butter and eggs there but that would've required a ton more effort. No, I was definitely in a simpler food mood. So I got a disposable cup (all the bowls needed a good dishwashing), a box of Frosted Flakes, and the remaining milk and took it to my bed, where I browse the interwebs on my laptop. So I pour the cereal, then the milk³ into my cup and [Stop and see if you can spot my mistake. If you realize what I'm missing before you continue reading, you don't need Tempur-Pedic mattresses.] I realize I didn't bring a spoon. I sat there and said, "..." As much as I wanted to just drink the cereal from the cup, Frosted Flakes are sharp and pointy like ridiculous. You can maybe drink Rice Krispies from the cup but never Frosted Flakes. It's a scientific fact, proven with lab coats and test tubes and everything. So, I set down my cup on the flattest part of my piece-of-shit-school-mattress lumpy mattress and after making sure that it's going to stay up, I smoothly slide off my bed and go to the kitchen to find a spoon. I get the spoon and I'm so tired (not from getting the spoon, just in general) that I just kinda just collapse onto my bed, forgetting that there is a cup of cereal [think: not that bad, could be worse] and milk [think: tragedy Billy Shakespeare would've appreciated] on my bed. My non-Tempur-Pedic bed of course does not hold the cup in place and instead I'm left with a very wet bedsheet and cereal all over the place. I was looking forward to the warm (,dry) comforts of my bed and some sugary cereal but alas! I was left with neither.

¹     I resisted temptation to link so you will have to imagine it. Or you could google "tempurpedic" + "wine" if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

²     Although on second thought, they were probably just trying to get across the point that you won't be bothered by the movements of your wife/husband/one-night stand if they don't stay still. But ignore that.

³     I always do it in that order. Always.

H for Hats

Hey guys sorry for the delay, I had a massive stomach attack which was the result of bad chinese korean food and threw up the entire contents of the meal last night. It brought nasty to a new level as I saw noodles and whole bakchoys come out of my mouth. Talk about eating without chewing, I must've completely mastered that technique. Because all of the food was undigested and unchewed, it could've almost looked like some sort of stew however, because it smelled like throw up and came out of my mouth, I was unable to make that kind of mistake. I did think however; that if this does happen to me again I should put it in some sort of tupperware and trick someone into eating my literal "creation".

Anyways thats a little teaser for later today when i'll talk about both hats and places to go for christmas. Until then!

Stuff I Find Interesting.

Greetings, my name is Ken Jin. I've decided that I'm going to contribute to this blog, just to shake things up a bit. And because it seems like the cool thing to do these days. So let's dive right in, shall we?

Today, I made a PB&E sandwich. No, the E does not stand for jElly (although I had that stashed in my inventory as well, I just decided eggs would be a better choice. And they were gonna expire if I didn't figure out how to eat 8 eggs in 1 day).

Yes, that's right. Eggs. I had also gotten a brand new jar of Jif the other day, along with some bread. As a wise guy I knew always used to say,"Ask not why, but why not?"

So, yeah. I fried up the egg and peanutbuttered my bread. Long story short, it ended up being not that great. BUT, I learned some useful things about life in general:

1. This is how my mind works: Extra crunchy peanut butter+eggs = nuts + huevos = testicles and testicles. "Those balls are as smooth as eggs!"

2. When you put a hot object (the egg) next to a meltable substance (crunchy peanut butter), it will melt, leaving you with a nut & egg sandwich and peanut butter stained pants.

3. Peanut butter is a very overpowering taste. For anyone reading this post thinking, "Man, I could really go for one of those PB&E sandwiches now!" here is a tip. Only use one light layer of PB if you actually want to taste the egg.

Oh, and I was eating this sandwich while watching VH1 Classic. It was "One Hit Wonders: Dance Hour." And it was awesome. You know that group on Facebook, "You remember this if you grew up in the 90's?" Well these should be added to the list.

Whoomp! (There It Is)

What Is Love?

Gonna Make You Sweat

Enjoyed those vids? YEAH YOU DID! It's like an awesome blast from the past where there are only strange black people (and one creepy hispanic saxophone player in the last video).

To end this post, I would like to show y'all (dirty south, what's good bitches!) something I learned the other day in my Psychology of Stereotypes class. Did you know that some dude wanted to look like Ken (Barbie's boyfriend, not me. Aww, you think I'm way more handsome? Thanks!) so bad that he got like a million operations and stuff. Here is what he ended up looking like.

Here is Ken
And here is Steve Erhardt
That's all for today, peace!

Some Thoughts

First post.

First and foremost, I want to thank Patty for the ride back to my apartment Tuesday night. It was one of the coldest nights of the year so far, so way to come through.

A while back, someone suggested that I start a blog of my own, but it was too daunting a task. I didn't think I would have enough to say, and to be honest I would've spent about half the space quoting people anyways. For example:

JohnLime: david lee

JohnLime: looks like

JohnLime: jean claude vandame

No, he doesn't, look it up.

So really, as Dustin said, it's John's show, I'm more than happy to play Alfred to his brilliant Batman, since no one really likes Robin anyways. But on to me.

While still on the Batman analogy, I saw Dark Knight again a couple of days ago and let me tell you:








These two women were not created equal.

Joker: Compulsive Liar

Fast forward to about 1:20 in. Is he trying to convince the audience or himself? Tom Cruise, I blame you for blemishing possibly my favorite movie ever. I can't watch this film without my mind screaming, "THAT'S NOT KATIE HOLMES. AT ALL."


Some notables from the last month:

Barackstar

That's not porn, even if the URL looks a bit suspect. I thought it captured the spirit of the times.

Wu-Tang
Alicia Keys

Both these songs sample the same song, thought the two different takes on it were cool, definitely a testament to the timelessness of the original:

Wendy Rene

We're buuuusted!

All-time most slept on Disney movie.

I spend an insane amount of time here.

Enjoy, and I hope school isn't kicking your ass right now like it is mine.

T. for Shirts

Shit I got a philosophy test on Aristotle tomorrow but had Aristotle been alive he would've addressed this t-shirt issue as well. So I'm going to quickly explore the cold weather hot T-shirt idea before I go back on my way to studying.
Now I was talking to this guy and he told me about something that happened to him. So apparently a shirt that he bought online had just arrived and when he wore it, it was tight both in size and in style. That day happened to be the coldest day of the week. Maybe it was around 32-36 degrees, it doesn't really matter just know that it was really cold, but even so, he couldn't contain his excitement and took off his jacket for good.
Alright I'm getting tired of writing in the third person, for those who haven't figured out already the guy I was talking to was me.
So I had a meeting with one of my small group kids and we had it outside. For several hours I was shivering my ass off as I talked to him and that just sucked. That night I had the biggest fever ever and was rolling around in my bed and cocooning myself in a blanket to generate heat. A few days later I realized I aggravated my cold to the point where I had interstitial pneumonia.
Long story short, I wore a T-shirt in the cold weather to the point of death. Dumb huh?

Fuck the question about what to do when you want to wear a T-shirt in the cold weather. I'll tell you the answer to that question right now. Don't do it. If you do, then "Iah will make you cold!" -John Lim pretending to be Ahnold Schwarzzeneger (I made up the quote so this citation is invalid. Don't sue me.)



The real question is this. Is style worth the discomfort?

For the ladies. High heels and just about everything else.

Hell if I woke up and my foot looked like that ever, the first thing I would do is put on a sock. I mean I am a fan of heels I don't mind at all and in fact even enjoy when girls wear heels. But is it worth creating an undead warrior on your foot? Think about it.
Although I do admit as I see female shoes now, they are becoming more and more prone to creating bad feet. Honestly I like nice feet. Buy Dr. Scholls or something ladies! And whosever foot that is, if you ever recognize it as you read my blog, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure thats a foot molded and finally seen after marriage.

For the men.
If you wear really tight pants you are definitely fucking up your junk. Don't do it if you want children.

December

And now is a perfect example of how fast time can really go. Let's take a moment to say "Dam. It's already December".
----Moment-----

I hope as you did that you felt the same sort of bewildered yet excited emotion that I felt. Christmas Eve! Christmas! New Years Eve! John's Birthday!

And so we're entering what i would like to call a series. I'm going to call it the Thy Loin series and I know I'm really killing the loin joke, however; for a little while longer I'm going to ride upon its thunder. And so the next 7 entries will be answers to 7 very important questions/concerns one may have during the upcoming holiday season and my birthday.

T- shirts. Obviously you want to buy a cool t-shirt, but what do you do when it's too cold to show them off?




Hats, You want to wear a hat, but you also want your hair to maintain its luster and form. What to do in this situation?



You want to do something special this holiday season but you don't know where to go!


Leggings are sweet but do you have the legs to fit in them? Are leggings practical? If leggings are not for me, then what can I wear as a substitute?



Oranges! Tangerine season is generally from November - January. What does being in the middle month of the season mean for your orange eating experience?






I want to get John an expensive awesome present for his birthday. Who can I talk to? What can i get him?





Nutrition. John I usually hibernate during the winter and after I wake up, I realize that the reason my phone keeps falling out of my pouch, is because it's part of my stomach. How can I quickly remedy the situation?



And so that's what we're going to be talking about for the next few days. Just letting you guys know and if there's anything else you guys want to be informed about, you're welcome to tell either me or Dustin. Thanks.

P.S. I hope these images aren't copyrighted. If they are I give full credit to where it is due.

First Poast

Okay, my turn. Don't worry, it's still John's show, I'm just gonna be the Robin to his Batman. Minus the part where I have to ride in a dinky sidecar with my knees in my face like the 1966 Batman movie.

What kind of blogger will I be? If I had to guess, I'd say you can expect something between this and this. Seriously though, I'll probably stick to posting a few funny links a week if I see any. I'll let John do most of the heavy lifting, writing-wise anyway. If I encounter a particularly inspirational muse, I might speak up but for the most part, you won't be reading the Daily Dustin Diatribe. (Alliteration for the win. I was gonna go with Discourse as the last word, but Diatribe needs more play.)

On that note here are the first
Links of the Week

• Warren just got punched in the face for this, but never arrested for this
• Can't believe I didn't get to use these when we were in TS
• Nice photo credit for the AFP

On a final, completely-disjoint-from-the-rest-of-the post note, is it just me or is it kind of poetic in a way that John would try to name his blog something deep and meaningful and end up with two Greek words that mean "large muscles of the loin" and "sausage-shaped". I just wish these words were easier to remember or spell but it's a pretty good representation of John.

Oh and if you ever want to guest-blog, just ask John or me. We'll get stale soon enough, always good to have fresh blood. We'll probably come and ask you even if you don't.

First Post

Hey everyone. I am not greek. In fact I am not even close to being greek although I have gone there once and learned what a crepe was. I actually was thinking about doing something extremely deep and meaningful for the name of my blog such as the greek word for humor, or satire. However i went with Omega Psoa or in english, Large muscles of the loin.

I actually looked up loin on wikipedia and learned that the term loin simply means below the ribs to the edge of the pelvis. Of course I have been a long time believer that the word loin was synonymous to penis or the female counterpart; however, wikipedia says otherwise.  Medically, the term loin is not even used because it is not descriptive enough. People do however; use it as a euphemism for  sexual organs. Had loin from the start meant what it has become, we would have a far less awkward and vulgar world. Imagine the shame of coming home and having your child call you a penis doctor. Would you not rather be called "Doctor of the loins"? And Richard can be called dick without the image of a penis preceding him. 

Now a question i must ask myself

Sirloin steak= penis steak?

(after research)

Only bottom sirloin = steak near the penis.

(random funny note)

. Found a dude named Andrew Loin on facebook. if he is knighted he'd be Sir Loin. haha

 

Btw I got a sweet hat today with ear flaps and 2 balls hanging from the side. Never have I and never will I ever again enjoy balls hitting my face. And Allantoeides means sausage shaped.